• Clinical features:

Scullynemia in its current form is essentially a disease that strikes the season seven deprived, although no true fan of TBO is exempt, as some US sibliren have been known to suffer on a weekly basis (jeez, some people don't know when they've got it good <g>.) The clinical manifestations vary considerably, however sufferers are united by a need to see some new Scully.

   

• Diagnosis:

Scullynemia is characterised by bouts of stomping, depression, RP and an illogical need to inflict the OBSSE Mailing List with OT posts. A typical Scullynemic will be snarky, want to talk about kangaroos, and will occasionally resort to thwacking other afflicted sibliren with Clubs.

   

• Treatment:

'Ritas 1500mg orally, four times hourly (or was that supposed to be daily?... oopsie <hiccup>). Relapses are a common occurrence, whereupon intensive Scullycentric videotape watching should be enforced. Severe cases should be encouraged to found pointless organisations (such as SVYRDMUL Incorporated), which has been proved to alleviate the symptoms of Scullynemia considerably.

   

• Case studies:

Patient A: aka Sister Aderyn, is difficult to categorise, such are the many depths to which she has plummeted while in the throes of a nasty bout of the 'nemia. Her profile is complicated by an additional disorder -- that of a split personality (which seems rather convenient because she can blame her other half for all and any wrong doings.) Her e-mails are occasionally snarky, and always littered with grammatical faux pas, and stoopid spelling mistakes -- which she likes to blame on not having seen any new Scully for a loooong time. Patient A has occasionally been pro-active in her treatment, as she has developed a bizarre aptitude for Scullycentric crafts (which are as pointless as the organisation she co-founded.) You may view her desperate efforts here.

Patient B: aka Sister Skullhead, is just as difficult to categorise as Sister Aderyn, so neener. ;) Her somewhat unusual symptoms include crimson-pigmenting her naturally red hair, experiencing regular nosebleeds (a symptom she could very well live without, thanks very much), and actually re-watching "Agua Mala" for the sole reason that she has it on tape. Her creative efforts range from half-finished fanfics (in which she loses interest with lamentable rapidity), to filks of "Jingle Bells" (never to be viewed by another set of eyes), to articles about the Aussie twang, which can be found here.

Patient C: aka Sister Gem, lives in a land called Down Under. The three-month delay for new episodes has resulted in a particularly creative pixelated-montage output. Patient C really, really wants to see some new Scully in her part of the world, and has made it so with the help of modern technology. Feast your eyes on her creations here. In addition to this, Gem has recently branched out in her creative talents as the 'nemia has spread to other parts of her brain. She has developed a propensity for constructing weapons and giving them away as birthday presents. An example of this odd behaviour, which incidentally began occurring around the time of Aderyn's 28th, yes that's right, 28th birthday, can be found here.

Patient D: aka Sister Anya has had a hard time coming to terms with her Scullynemia. Although she has suffered it for years, she was only conditioned to deal with the wimpy North American strain. Thus, when exposed to the much more deadly Rest of the World strain, her immune system was completely overwhelmed. Slowly, she is growing to accept her severedness and the more violent attacks of Scullynemia which go hand and hand with it. However, she is all too happy to share her pain with others - you may read her tale of woe here.

Patient E: aka Sister Fialka has left us in a bit of a quandary. Perhaps it's because she is regularly sent tapes of episodes from unsevered land, perhaps it's because she's going to be in the aforementioned unsevered land for the majority of Season Eight, perhaps it's because her DNA contains slightly more than the usual quota of genes, but Fi's Scullynemia symptoms are atypical (and that's putting it politely). She...she...she uses her pain for good! She...she writes fanfic! And...and...oh God, it wounds me to say it, but...it's absolutely freaking amazing fanfic! <gasp> You can find it here. Proceed with caution and tissues.

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