Margaret Scully's Lot is Not a Happy One
And her life so far has not been very fun
In the count of episodes that aim to pain her
She is second only to The Blessed One.
Season One, poor Mags becomes a single mother:
In "Beyond the Sea", her husband's life is done.
I'll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin' mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully's lot is not a happy one.
Season Two: her daughter Dana disappears, and
She is gone three months, and Maggie thinks she's dead.
But then she turns up, and Mulder interferes, and
She revives, except a chip is in her head.
Now, another family tragedy for Mother:
Poor Melissa’s brains are blown out with a gun.
I’ll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully’s lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin’ mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully’s lot is not a happy one.
Now guess what? Poor Dana gets a nasty tumor
In her head, and Maggie’s really really sad.
Mulder has to find a microchip real soon, or
Scully’s gonna join her sister and her dad.
Phew, another tragic death is spared poor Mother
But we know that it was really close, that one.
I’ll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully’s lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin’ mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully’s lot is not a happy one.
Season Five: "Hey Mom, guess what, I’ve got a daughter!
Except, hmmm, I don’t remember giving birth."
But soon Emily’s the victim of a slaughter
And an empty coffin’s buried in the earth.
Maggie’s family is all dying, our poor Mother,
All except for Bill, her darling older son,
I’ll take one consideration with another,
Margaret Scully’s lot is not a happy one.
When those freakin’ mytharc episodes are done, 'sodes are done,
Margaret Scully’s lot is not a happy one.
All of us here at the Order of St Scully
Think our Holy Mother needs a rest from pain,
And if Carter throws her in a ditch or gully,
We will use a nameplate to extract his brain.
Join me in a prayer for our most Holy Mother,
"May the season end so she can have some fun."
When our heroes save the earth and wed each other
Margaret Scully’s lot will be a happy one.
When the episodes of "X-Files" are all done, are all done,
Margaret Scully’s lot will be a happy one.
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