Severed Review: "Hungry"
By Skullhead

It has been universally acknowledged that "Hungry", the third episode of
this season's "X-Files", was filler. Sandwiched between the tear stunts of
"Amor Fati" and the excessively advertised, uh, thing occurring in next
week's "Millennium", it was there to occupy a timeslot and not much more.

But what filler! Sweeps ploys ran rampant at 1013 Productions as the
boys decided to get in plenty of practice for next week's crossover.
"Hungry" was a veritable reunion of bad TV shows. This week's
protagonist was Darin Stevens, Samantha's husband in the 60s TV
series "Bewitched".

Aderyn: Was it the first Darin or the second Darin?
Skull: Uh, I'm not sure.
Aderyn: Because I always thought it was weird how he just
*changed*. Maybe he was a Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter.
Skull: Yeah, maybe.
Aderyn: That would explain why he turned into the Phantom of
the Opera, Michael J Fox, Scott Wolf, Leonard Nimoy, Edward
Scissorhands and Jaws during the course of the episode.
Skull: That was a clever plot twist.
Aderyn: Diabolical.

Darin's sidekicks were the beloved brain-sucking amoeba from "Red
Dwarf" and the role model of every child in America, Mr Potato Head.
Together, they invaded fast-food chains around the U.S.A. in a
collaboration of ground beef pursuit.

Aderyn: You are aware that your last sentence makes no sense?
Skull: Yes.
Aderyn: Okay. Just checking.

The plight of Darin was a sad one. Impregnated by aliens, he had
developed an uncontrollable craving for human brain matter.

Aderyn: Why did he go looking for it in fast-food restaurants?
This isn't "Our Town" we're talkin' about here.
Skull: Oh, it wasn't *real* brain matter. It was actually
hamburgers.
Aderyn: How cheesy.
Skull: Oh, please.

Poor Darin was not to blame for his villainy. It was all the fault of the
pressures of American society. Mr Potato Head had a dream of ingesting
a thousand human brains - but because of his lowly position in life, that of
a vegetable, it could never be fulfilled. In this society of ours there is no
room for the dreamer, but the great American dream lives on and leaves
suffering in its wake. And so we beat on, boats against the current...

Aderyn: Hey, Skull?
Skull: What?
Aderyn: You're freaking me out a bit here.
Skull: Oh. Sorry. I guess I should talk about the actual show
now?
Aderyn: Yes, dear. Here's your medication... want some fries to
go with that?

We as an audience saw the action through the eyes of Darin. This device
was chiefly a successful one, but it was marred by the blurry quality of
the view - Darin's fake corneas resulted in severely distorted vision,
which perhaps explains why he interpreted Scully's shirt colour as being
pink.

Aderyn: What are you talking about? It WAS pink.
Skull: Nope. Scully doesn't wear pink.
Aderyn: But it was pink. The shirt was pink!
Skull: No. She does not wear pink. Case closed.
Aderyn: You are in denial.
Skull: Kindly do not attempt to extricate me from it. In my world,
Scully does *not wear pink*.

There has been a large amount of controversy over a scene oft referred
to as "the interaction in the kitchen". For many it was the highlight of the
episode, but as a reviewer I found it rather disturbing for a 9pm timeslot.
It involved Mr Potato Head wielding his proboscis and some family
jewellery in an attempt to lure 32 Lucky Boys into a gigantic dish of
coleslaw.

Aderyn: What's a proboscis?
Skull: It's, uh, kind of a tubular structure that, uh...
Aderyn: Say no more, say no more. I got it.
Skull: Darin used it to suck his own brain out.
Aderyn: Oh. He must have been quite flexible.
Skull: Yeah. And I am SO not going to make a comment about it
solving one of the main problems of women worldwide.
Aderyn: Um...
Skull: Oh. Oopsie.

The most heartrending scene we've seen for a long time came towards
the end of the episode - the downfall of Mr Potato Head. As he lay
incapacitated on a bed of beef, he slowly removed his eyes, nose, mouth,
ears and eyebrows until he became just a regular pale-pigmented potato
again. As the juice ran out of his withered body, we could hear the sweet
strains of him carolling "Angel of Music".

Aderyn: Then they chopped him up and chucked the pieces into
the coleslaw.
Skull: You're heartless.
Aderyn: Oh, come on, you know you don't like Mr Potato Head.
He looks too much like John Howard.
Skull: Yeah, I know. I was actually referring to the fact that you
would spoil perfectly good coleslaw with potato. But whatever.

Another sad moment came with the brutal murder of a MulderClone,
causing Scully to dress in mourning for the remainder of the episode. For
many, this was the most tragic aspect of all.

Aderyn: I bet Gillian's really glad she doesn't have dandruff.

Appearances by Scully and Mulder were limited in this episode, which
resulted in many complaints from viewers. However, their performances
were outstanding as usual. David Duchovny was delightful, using some
highly effective Peter Falk mannerisms, and Gillian Anderson has clearly
mastered the art of a poker face. The standout of the cast, however, was
Robert Roberts as Darin, who gave an exceptional performance -
especially considering that his main means of employment is based in
the helicopter instruction industry.

Overall, "Hungry", while not quite a classic of any genre, was a filler of
adequate proportions that lined the stomach quite substantially for next
week's Thing That Shall Not Be Mentioned Because We Don't Want To
Freak Out The Spoiler Virgins, How Ironic Is That (tm). If we learnt little
else from this gem, it did serve to put probosci and their possible uses
into the consciousness of Abbey residents - surely a cunning ploy by
1013 to get us all...erm...*excited* by the possible events in next week's
episode.

Skull: Incidentally, I think it's grossly unfair that you get to review
"Millennium".
Aderyn: Why? What's the big deal? It gives you time to work on
our site.
Skull: Well, next week's episode has the THING.
Aderyn: Oh, right. The thing.
Skull: Yeah, the thing with the thing! It's a big event in my shipper
life. It doesn't matter to you - you've got that whole Sophoclean chorus
thing going.
Aderyn: Huh?
Skull: The fence-sitting.
Aderyn: Oh. Well, look at it this way - I'll be able to review it in a
totally non-biased manner.
Skull: I know. That's the freaking problem.
Aderyn: If there is tongue and/or a proboscis in evidence, I will
say so.
Skull: Okay. Good.

-end